


Tra La Perduta Gente (Among The Lost)

by Yami_Kada7



Series: Link Down [5]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Day 5, He just wants to know what's going on, Jin is only sort of healing, Memories, VRAINS Week 2019, VRLink14, but he's also falling apart more, title from Dante's Inferno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 18:41:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19874254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yami_Kada7/pseuds/Yami_Kada7
Summary: Jin might not remember the Lost Incident anymore, but he can remember remembering it. And no one will help him fill in the gaps.





	Tra La Perduta Gente (Among The Lost)

**Author's Note:**

> I know Lightning was trying to help Jin by taking his Lost Incident memories, and you can't convince me otherwise, but there were bound to be some side effects from that.
> 
> I recommend looking up Canto III of Dante's Inferno if you haven't read it, it's the bit that Lightning reads.

Jin walked next to his nurse, away from the doctor’s office. His head was still spinning from the confusing conversation he had just had with him. What was so important about the thing that he couldn’t remember? There had to be more to it than what the doctor was letting on, but what could it be? 

He simmered with the question as he got ready for bed, and kept returning to it as he lay under his sheets. Why couldn’t he remember? The doctor hadn’t mentioned anything that might have caused it recently, just that after he woke up from his coma they found that he didn’t remember it. 

With countless questions spinning around his head, Jin fell into a fitful slumber.

* * *

_ He was caught, gripped on all sides by something he couldn’t see, the darkness of the room clouding whatever might have let him fight the panic welling up in his throat. He tore at his bindings, ripping them away from his flesh until his thrashing sent him toppling off of whatever he was laying on, onto a much harder surface. _

_ He let out a shout, clawing at his ankles which were still held tight above him, freeing them from their bonds right as light spilled from behind him. He whipped his head around, staring at the looming silhouettes that were coming closer to him, and backed away on his hands and knees until he hit the wall behind him.  _

_ They kept coming closer as he shook with fear, and light filled the room so suddenly that he went blind, everything was white and no no no he was back there all over again, he was never rescued at all- _

* * *

Jin sat up with a start, his chest heaving. Light spilled through his window from the lights in the garden outside, and in the dimness he could just barely make out his room. He released the sheets from his fingers and instead clutched at his hair, raking through it as he breathed, trying to calm his racing heart. 

What  _ was _ that? He knew that he had nightmares, the doctor told him that he did, but why couldn’t he  _ remember  _ what they were? Only the aftermath, he could only remember what happened after them. 

It made him sick, that he couldn’t remember. He knew it had to be important, huge, something- something bigger than huge, he didn’t know what.

He looked outside, at how quiet the night was. The sky was clear and everything looked so peaceful, so different from him. 

He got up from his bed, slipping on a sweater and slippers before padding out into the hallway. He padded down the hallway until he reached the reading room, the lights flickering into existence at his entrance. There weren’t any other people inside, and looking out at the garden showed that it was empty too as far as he could tell. 

He walked over to the shelves, running his fingers along the spines of the books. He didn’t know why he was here, since he couldn’t read that well, but the room was quiet and open, which was good enough for him. 

He kept running his fingers along the spines, looking at each title as he went along. He mouthed them, words leaving him in air without sound, until he came to a title that made him pause. He didn’t know why, but he felt like he had read this book somewhere before. He slipped  _ Inferno _ off the shelf, and took it over to one of the reading desks by the windows.

He turned on the little desk lamp, and started to read. A few pages in, his head was spinning with all the unfamiliar words, and he got up to get a dictionary. Things went slower but smooth after that, and it was at Canto III that the familiarity of the book clicked. 

* * *

_ He looked at the room around him from a high seat, but it felt more like he was looking at a screen than at a place. He couldn’t move, and the sensation was a lot like being draped in heavy blankets, warm and safe but restrictive all the same.  _

_ Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a yellow hand holding a book, using the thumb to turn the pages. A deep voice was reading aloud, steady as a metronome and just as suspenseful.  _

_ The voice continued on for a short while, then the book shut with a snap, and the room went dark. _

* * *

Jin knew that the memory should have frightened him, the whole moment held a sense of wrongness that he couldn’t ignore, but instead calm washed over him. That voice just felt right, like it was a key piece of himself, and he knew that he knew it but he couldn’t  _ remember. _

Jin turned back to the book, running over the words that the voice had spoken with the tip of one finger. Maybe it held some sort of answer.

He spent the rest of the night reading through the book, flipping through the dictionary less and less as he went along. 

* * *

In hindsight, he probably should have told someone where he was going. There was a loud clamor at eight in the morning, and a nurse ran down the hallway, before backpedaling to the door and slumping when she caught sight of him. He was scolded and asked to not repeat his disappearance, but she let him keep the books with him as she walked him back to his room. 

He spent a bit more time reading, nearing the end of the book, when there was a knock at his door. It was louder and faster than the knocks of any of the nurses or doctors that he knew, and he immediately knew who it was. “Good Morning, Jin!” Nii-san greeted as he slid the door open. 

Jin nodded back to him, closing the book and drawing the other’s attention to it. “What have you got there?” He walked up and sat beside him on the bed. “It looks like some pretty intense reading, how are you doing with it?”

Jin held up the dictionary. Nii-san chuckled. “It must be pretty hard, then, if you need that.” He held out a hand, and Jin placed  _ Inferno _ into it. “How far have you gotten? Any favorite parts?”

Jin reached over and opened the book to where he had left off, scanning the page before pointing at a particular line, then he flipped back in the book, until he was at the beginning of Canto III again. He pointed to the passage the voice had read, circling it with his finger. 

Nii-san’s brow furrowed as he read the passage. “That’s pretty intense, Jin. You sure it isn’t too much for you? They have a lot of books here that aren’t as dark…” He lifted the book up, as if he was going to go get him a new book right that second, and Jin latched onto his arm. He shook his head, staring straight into his brothers eyes as panic flared up.

It was his only lead to whatever the rest of them knew! He couldn’t let it get taken away. When Nii-san froze at his reaction he snatched the book back and held it to his chest. They sat like that for a moment, staring each other down, and Nii-san slowly raised his hands, voice coming out calm. “Alright then, sorry for that, Jin. You read whatever you want to, okay?” Jin slumped in relief and leaned into him, resting his head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around him. 

Jin rested there for a while, letting his hair be stroked and his body held tight. Nii-san was safe, being with him always made Jin feel a lot calmer. A thought occurred to Jin. He would know what had happened, right? He could tell him what the yawning gap in his memories was supposed to have.

“I’m glad.” Nii-san’s words made him pause. “I’m glad that you’re reading what you want to read, that you’re making your own decisions Jin.” He squeezed him tighter for a moment before letting him go, and Jin moved back to be able to look at his face. “I’m glad that you’re getting better.” The warmth of his voice made Jin go cold, and he dropped his gaze to the blankets, picking at them.

“Jin?” Nii-san asked, hand coming up to his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

Jin was saved from asking by a soft knock on the door, and the appearance of a nurse. “Sorry to interrupt, but the doctor wanted to see you about your request, Kusanagi-san.”

“Oh, of course. Be right there.” He heaved himself up, then looked back down at Jin. “I’ll be back in a minute, okay Jin?”

Jin felt himself nod, and Nii-san turned and walked out the door. He sat there, staring at the door, before he remembered the book in his arms. He uncurled his fingers from it, tracing the letters along the cover. He couldn’t ask. Not when him forgetting made Nii-san so happy, when everyone was convinced that it was for the best. 

He opened the book to Canto III again, mouthing the words he knew. He might not ever have answers, not ever remember whatever it was, but he would have this. And if he was the only person who knew about it, then no one would know that it could be taken from him.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you thought! Comments, critiques, and whatever else are very much appreciated!
> 
> I recommend looking up the start of Canto III, and then you'll understand why Kusanagi found it weird that that was his brother's favorite passage.
> 
> If anyone is interested, you can find me over on Tumblr under @yami-kada
> 
> In the spirit of last year's Vrainsweek, this piece is not beta'd!


End file.
